Recycling

[Henry J]

Male Jokes

A man tells his friend, Las Vegas is loaded with all kinds of gambling devices.

"Dice tables, slot machines, and wedding chapels."

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[Xjmt]

[lswot]

.....and divorce lawyers

[Xjmt]

[Henry J]

Doctors Jokes

A young guy was feeling ill, so he asked a friend to recommend an internist. "I know a great one," his friend said, "but he's very expensive. He charges $400 for the first visit and $100 for each visit after that."

The guy went to see the doctor. Trying to save money, he greeted the doctor when he entered the exam room with an animated "I'm back!"

The doctor proceeded with the examination. "Very good," he said when he was finished.
"Just continue the treatment I prescribed last time."

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[Henry J]

Business Jokes

"This little computer," said the a sales clerk, "will do half your job for you."

The senior manager studying the machine made his decision; "Fine, I'll take two."

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[Henry J]

Airplane Jokes

Why is the mistletoe hanging over the baggage counter?" asked the airline passenger, amid the holiday rush. The clerk

replied, "It's so you can kiss your luggage good-bye."

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[Henry J]

Miscellaneous Jokes

A new business was opening, and one of the owner's friends sent flowers for the occasion. But when the owner read the card with the flowers, it said. "Rest in Peace"

The owner was little upset and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist about the obvious mistake, the florist said, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rater than getting angry, you should imagine this: Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new location."

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[Henry J]

Miscellaneous Jokes

A gentleman entered a busy florist shop that displayed a large sign that read "Say It with Flowers."
"Wrap up one rose" he told the florist.
"Only one?" the florist asked.
"Just one," the customer replied
"I'm a man of few words."

(At least the guy rose to the occasion! I guess he thinks one flower has power? That line of thought could get thorny. )

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[Henry J]

Police Jokes

Two prisoners were making their escape over the jailhouse roof when one of them dislodged a tile. "Who's there", shouted a guard. The first prisoner replied with a convincing imitation of a cat's meow.

Reassured, the guard when back to his rounds. But then the second prisoner dislodged another tile. The guard repeated, "Who's there?"

"The other cat," answered the prisoner.

(Meow!)

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[Henry J]

Signs Jokes

Sign seen in a veterinarian's office:

The doctor is in. Sit. Stay.

(Woof! Meow? )

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[Henry J]

Men Vs. Women Jokes

A girl involved with the women's lib group boarded a crowded bus and one man rose to his feet. "No, No, you must not give up your seat. I insist," she said.

The man replied; "You may insist as much as you like, Lady. This is my street where I get off."

(Details, details!)

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[Xjmt]

And I'm betting that's based on a true incident.

[Henry J]

Could be for all I know.

[Henry J]

Bar & Drinking Jokes

A man walks into a bar and orders 3 beers.
The bartender asks him why he gets three beers the man told the bartender well one is for me and the other two, for my brothers who live in Texas.

The man does this for about a week and one day the man walks in and orders two beers instead of three. The bartender asks him why just two the man said well my wife told me I had to quit drinking but she didn't say anything about my brothers to stop.

(Well, at least it's all in the family! )

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