Recycling
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lswot
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:13710
- Joined:Sun Aug 31, 2003 11:53 am
- Location:California
He ate the roll and acted the role in the play
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
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Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
*****
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
*****
There's only one me, and I'm stuck with him.
Robert L. Stanfield
*****
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)
*****
There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.
Winston Churchill, Sir (1874-1965)
*****
eschew obfuscation!
*****
Henry
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
*****
There's only one me, and I'm stuck with him.
Robert L. Stanfield
*****
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)
*****
There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.
Winston Churchill, Sir (1874-1965)
*****
eschew obfuscation!
*****
Henry
-
lswot
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:13710
- Joined:Sun Aug 31, 2003 11:53 am
- Location:California
Re: Recycling
"eschew obfuscation"
That's my favorite
That's my favorite
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
-
Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Re: Recycling
Gesundheit!
-
Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. [But at least it doesn't lead to the dark side!]
Drink 'till she's cute, but stop before the wedding. [Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder?]
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. [As long as they don't wear capes]
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. [SQUEAK!]
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week. [Cheeping is for the birds]
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. [But did she win the lottery?]
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. [Not me; I tend to drive slow]
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy. [What's for dinner?]
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? [Cause she wouldn't be popular without them?]
If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
*****
Henry
Drink 'till she's cute, but stop before the wedding. [Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder?]
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. [As long as they don't wear capes]
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. [SQUEAK!]
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week. [Cheeping is for the birds]
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. [But did she win the lottery?]
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. [Not me; I tend to drive slow]
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy. [What's for dinner?]
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? [Cause she wouldn't be popular without them?]
If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
*****
Henry
-
Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States.
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
*****
Henry
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States.
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
*****
Henry
-
Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ...coincidence? ["Beer bad" - Xander Harris, while working as a bartender.]
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. [Error... Error... Error...]
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. [Then they look for vacation from it?]
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. [They want to take a nap?]
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. [Out of my mind. Be back in 5 minutes.]
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. [But let's see what develops.]
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! [To hair is human.]
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? [It stays blue; those things are plastic, anyway.]
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? [That sounds like a Major Problem.]
What happens if you get scared half to death twice? [Depends how much time between the two!]
*****
Henry
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. [Error... Error... Error...]
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. [Then they look for vacation from it?]
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. [They want to take a nap?]
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. [Out of my mind. Be back in 5 minutes.]
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. [But let's see what develops.]
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! [To hair is human.]
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? [It stays blue; those things are plastic, anyway.]
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? [That sounds like a Major Problem.]
What happens if you get scared half to death twice? [Depends how much time between the two!]
*****
Henry
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lswot
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:13710
- Joined:Sun Aug 31, 2003 11:53 am
- Location:California
Re: Recycling
"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"
Yikes!
Yikes!
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
-
Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. [Hare today, gone tomorrow?]
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. [Well doggone!]
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. [Brain brain what is brain?]
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. [Oh put a muffler on it!]
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. [Where's that flashlight?]
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? [Use a decoder ring?]
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor. [Where's the beef?]
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? [And why don't they win the lottery?]
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! [Only when they're in season]
*****
Henry
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. [Well doggone!]
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. [Brain brain what is brain?]
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. [Oh put a muffler on it!]
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. [Where's that flashlight?]
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? [Use a decoder ring?]
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor. [Where's the beef?]
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? [And why don't they win the lottery?]
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! [Only when they're in season]
*****
Henry
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lswot
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:13710
- Joined:Sun Aug 31, 2003 11:53 am
- Location:California
Re: Recycling
Where do you find these things? I like your 'asides'.......
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
-
Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Subject: metric conversion
10**12 Microphones = 1 Megaphone
10**6 bicycles = 2 megacycles
500 millionaries = 1 seminary
2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
10 cards = 1 decacards
1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn
10**-6 fish = 1 microfiche
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
10**12 pins = 1 terrapin
10**21 picolos = 1 gigolo
10 rations = 1 decoration
100 rations = 1 C-ration
10 millipedes = 1 centipede
3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
5 holocausts = 1 Pentacost
10 monologs = 5 dialogues
5 dialogues = 1 decalogue
2 monograms = 1 diagram
8 nickles = 2 paradigms
2 snake eyes = 1 paradise
2 wharves = 1 paradox
*****
[That last one could use peer review, to avoid missing the boat! OTOH, I though a paradox was two medics in an ambulance... ]
[As for the once about nickels: change is inevitable. Except from vending machines. ]
[A nanometer is a device for measuring Orkan greetings.]
Henry
10**12 Microphones = 1 Megaphone
10**6 bicycles = 2 megacycles
500 millionaries = 1 seminary
2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
10 cards = 1 decacards
1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn
10**-6 fish = 1 microfiche
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
10**12 pins = 1 terrapin
10**21 picolos = 1 gigolo
10 rations = 1 decoration
100 rations = 1 C-ration
10 millipedes = 1 centipede
3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
5 holocausts = 1 Pentacost
10 monologs = 5 dialogues
5 dialogues = 1 decalogue
2 monograms = 1 diagram
8 nickles = 2 paradigms
2 snake eyes = 1 paradise
2 wharves = 1 paradox
*****
[That last one could use peer review, to avoid missing the boat! OTOH, I though a paradox was two medics in an ambulance... ]
[As for the once about nickels: change is inevitable. Except from vending machines. ]
[A nanometer is a device for measuring Orkan greetings.]
Henry
-
Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Back in the 1970s we didn't have the space shuttle to get all excited about.
We had to settle for men walking on the crummy moon.
*****
In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators.
We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.
*****
In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.
*****
Henry
We had to settle for men walking on the crummy moon.
*****
In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators.
We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.
*****
In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.
*****
Henry
-
lswot
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:13710
- Joined:Sun Aug 31, 2003 11:53 am
- Location:California
Re: Recycling
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
-
Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Kids today think the world revolves around them.
In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.
*****
In my day, we didn't have virtual computer reality.
If a one-eyed, razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.
*****
Henry
In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.
*****
In my day, we didn't have virtual computer reality.
If a one-eyed, razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.
*****
Henry
-
Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
What happened when the lady vampire met the man vampire?
It was love at first bite!
--------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a dumb skeleton?
A numbskull!
--------------------------------------------------------
What do short-sighted ghosts wear?
Spookacles!!
--------------------------------------------------------
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he had nobody to go with.
--------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the vampire that swallowed a sheep?
He said he felt baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.
--------------------------------------------------------
What room can a skeleton not go in?
A living-room!
--------------------------------------------------------
And did you hear about the smuggler that saw a ghost?
It was the ghostguard.
--------------------------------------------------------
Why did the ghost cross the road?
To get to the Body Shop!!
--------------------------------------------------------
What is it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck.
[Just ask Buffy!]
--------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear what happened when the ghosts went on strike?
A skeleton staff took over.
--------------------------------------------------------
Why did the skeleton refuse to go to the monsters' party?
Because he knew no body would dance with him.
--------------------------------------------------------
What is the tallest building in Transylvania?
The Vampire State Building.
--------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the musical ghost?
He wrote haunting melodies.
--------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the two skeletons that always argued?
Seems they always had a bone to pick.
[Why, did they used to be paleontologists? ]
--------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the vampire who liked ballroom dancing?
He especially liked the vaultz.
--------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the ghost who works at Scotland Yard?
He's the Chief in-spectre.
--------------------------------------------------------
What instrument do skeletons play?
Trom-BONE
--------------------------------------------------------
What do you get when you cross a cow with a ghost?
Vanishing cream!
[I see!]
--------------------------------------------------------
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
I'm bone to be wild!
[Ghost Rider? Like in the movie? ]
--------------------------------------------------------
What ghost haunted King George III?
The spirit of '76!
--------------------------------------------------------
Where does a ghost go on vacation?
Mali-booooooooooooooooooo!
--------------------------------------------------------
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs
--------------------------------------------------------
What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
Booooooooties!
--------------------------------------------------------
When does a skeleton laugh?
When something tickles his funny bone.
[BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Ha? ]
--------------------------------------------------------
What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
Booooooooooo booooooooooooos
[Smarter than average bears? ]
--------------------------------------------------------
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboooooo
[Okay, but watch out for pandas! ]
--------------------------------------------------------
Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers.
--------------------------------------------------------
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appetit!
--------------------------------------------------------
It was love at first bite!
--------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a dumb skeleton?
A numbskull!
--------------------------------------------------------
What do short-sighted ghosts wear?
Spookacles!!
--------------------------------------------------------
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he had nobody to go with.
--------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the vampire that swallowed a sheep?
He said he felt baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.
--------------------------------------------------------
What room can a skeleton not go in?
A living-room!
--------------------------------------------------------
And did you hear about the smuggler that saw a ghost?
It was the ghostguard.
--------------------------------------------------------
Why did the ghost cross the road?
To get to the Body Shop!!
--------------------------------------------------------
What is it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck.
[Just ask Buffy!]
--------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear what happened when the ghosts went on strike?
A skeleton staff took over.
--------------------------------------------------------
Why did the skeleton refuse to go to the monsters' party?
Because he knew no body would dance with him.
--------------------------------------------------------
What is the tallest building in Transylvania?
The Vampire State Building.
--------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the musical ghost?
He wrote haunting melodies.
--------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the two skeletons that always argued?
Seems they always had a bone to pick.
[Why, did they used to be paleontologists? ]
--------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the vampire who liked ballroom dancing?
He especially liked the vaultz.
--------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the ghost who works at Scotland Yard?
He's the Chief in-spectre.
--------------------------------------------------------
What instrument do skeletons play?
Trom-BONE
--------------------------------------------------------
What do you get when you cross a cow with a ghost?
Vanishing cream!
[I see!]
--------------------------------------------------------
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
I'm bone to be wild!
[Ghost Rider? Like in the movie? ]
--------------------------------------------------------
What ghost haunted King George III?
The spirit of '76!
--------------------------------------------------------
Where does a ghost go on vacation?
Mali-booooooooooooooooooo!
--------------------------------------------------------
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs
--------------------------------------------------------
What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
Booooooooties!
--------------------------------------------------------
When does a skeleton laugh?
When something tickles his funny bone.
[BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Ha? ]
--------------------------------------------------------
What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
Booooooooooo booooooooooooos
[Smarter than average bears? ]
--------------------------------------------------------
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboooooo
[Okay, but watch out for pandas! ]
--------------------------------------------------------
Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers.
--------------------------------------------------------
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appetit!
--------------------------------------------------------