Abort! Abort! ABORT!lswot wrote:"Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."
Note on coffee cup.
Caution: contents are HOT
Guy reading the paper: Says here NASA has developed a new, super efficient laxative for its Astronauts.
Second guy: Yeah what's it called?
First guy: "All Systems go!"
Recycling
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Henry J
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lswot
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Re: Recycling
...Henry J wrote:Abort! Abort! ABORT!lswot wrote:"Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."
Note on coffee cup.
Caution: contents are HOT
Guy reading the paper: Says here NASA has developed a new, super efficient laxative for its Astronauts.
Second guy: Yeah what's it called?
First guy: "All Systems go!"
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
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Henry J
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Re: Recycling
Millionaire
A miserable-looking man was sitting in a bar one night.
"Why are you looking so sad?" asked the barman.
"My wife's made me a millionaire." said the man.
"If my wife made me a millionaire, I'd be the happiest man on earth", said the barman.
"Yes, but before I met her I was a multimillionaire."
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A miserable-looking man was sitting in a bar one night.
"Why are you looking so sad?" asked the barman.
"My wife's made me a millionaire." said the man.
"If my wife made me a millionaire, I'd be the happiest man on earth", said the barman.
"Yes, but before I met her I was a multimillionaire."
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lswot
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Re: Recycling
easy come easy go
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
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Henry J
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Re: Recycling
Heir today, gone tomorrow?
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Henry J
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Re: Recycling
Sport Jokes
A game warden noticed his elderly neighbor was going fishing every mourning without any fishing tackle only a silver lunch box. When he returned in the evening he would always have a stringer full of fish. The game warden was curious on how he was catching his fish. He asked the elderly neighbor how he caught so many fish. The man replied he would show him if he would like to go with him the following mourning. The Game warden replied he would love to go. The following mourning they hooked up his boat and the old man had his silver lunch box with him as usual. They launched the boat and in the middle of the lake the old man stopped the boat opened his lunch box took out a stick of dynamite lit it and through into the lake. Seconds later fish came floating up the game warden was shocked and told the old man that was illegal. The old man calmly lit another stick of dynamite handed it to the game warden, then asked him well are you going to fish or just cut bait.
(The guy must think he's Crocodile Dundee or something.
)
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A game warden noticed his elderly neighbor was going fishing every mourning without any fishing tackle only a silver lunch box. When he returned in the evening he would always have a stringer full of fish. The game warden was curious on how he was catching his fish. He asked the elderly neighbor how he caught so many fish. The man replied he would show him if he would like to go with him the following mourning. The Game warden replied he would love to go. The following mourning they hooked up his boat and the old man had his silver lunch box with him as usual. They launched the boat and in the middle of the lake the old man stopped the boat opened his lunch box took out a stick of dynamite lit it and through into the lake. Seconds later fish came floating up the game warden was shocked and told the old man that was illegal. The old man calmly lit another stick of dynamite handed it to the game warden, then asked him well are you going to fish or just cut bait.
(The guy must think he's Crocodile Dundee or something.
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lswot
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Re: Recycling
Something smells fishy ....... 
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
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Henry J
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Re: Recycling
The local church unveiled its new fundraising campaign slogan this week: "I Upped My Pledge. Up Yours."
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lswot
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Re: Recycling
oops 
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
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Henry J
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Re: Recycling
Well, yeah!
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Henry J
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Re: Recycling
Doctors Jokes
A lawyer was cross-examining the doctor about whether or not he had checked the pulse of the deceased before he signed the death certificate. "No," the doctor said. "I did not check his pulse." "And did you listen for a heartbeat?" asked the lawyer. "No I did not," the doctor said. "So," said the lawyer, "when you signed the death certificate, you had not taken steps to make sure he was dead." The doctor said, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was in a jar on my desk but, for all I know, he could be out practicing law somewhere."
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A lawyer was cross-examining the doctor about whether or not he had checked the pulse of the deceased before he signed the death certificate. "No," the doctor said. "I did not check his pulse." "And did you listen for a heartbeat?" asked the lawyer. "No I did not," the doctor said. "So," said the lawyer, "when you signed the death certificate, you had not taken steps to make sure he was dead." The doctor said, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was in a jar on my desk but, for all I know, he could be out practicing law somewhere."
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lswot
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Re: Recycling
.......
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
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Henry J
- Tv Watcher
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- Location:Colorado
Re: Recycling
Talk Show Guest
A young man went to an interview for potential guests on a TV talk show. "What do you do?" the show's producer asked the young man.
"I imitate birds," the young man answered.
"What?" grunted the producer. "People who imitate birds are a dime a dozen. We can't use you."
"Okay," replied the disappointed young man. And he flapped his arms and flew out the window.
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A young man went to an interview for potential guests on a TV talk show. "What do you do?" the show's producer asked the young man.
"I imitate birds," the young man answered.
"What?" grunted the producer. "People who imitate birds are a dime a dozen. We can't use you."
"Okay," replied the disappointed young man. And he flapped his arms and flew out the window.
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Henry J
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Re: Recycling
Definitions:
Committee - Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Classic - A book which people praise, but do not read.
[Oh, a paper weight!]
Worry - Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
Philosopher - A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Smile - A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Rumor - News that travels faster than the speed of sound.
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Committee - Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Classic - A book which people praise, but do not read.
[Oh, a paper weight!]
Worry - Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
Philosopher - A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Smile - A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Rumor - News that travels faster than the speed of sound.
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Henry J
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Re: Recycling
Experience - The name men give to their mistakes.
[I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was in error.]
Dictionary - The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
College - A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
Ecstasy - A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
Office - A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.
Yawn - The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
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[I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was in error.]
Dictionary - The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
College - A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
Ecstasy - A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
Office - A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.
Yawn - The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
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