Recycling

[Xjmt]

[Henry J]

May the fourth with you be!

[Xjmt]

May the fourth with you be!

Great timing. But it is already the 5th.

[Henry J]

Well, in that case I'll take the fifth on that one...

[Henry J]

New Exercise for Seniors

Just came across this exercise suggested for seniors, to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy, so I thought I'd pass it on to some of my younger friends. The article suggested doing it three days a week.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5-LB. potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides, and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax.

Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-LB. potato sacks.

Then 50-LB. potato sacks, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-LB. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks;

but be careful.

----------------------------------------

[lswot]

Well, in that case I'll take the fifth on that one...

Fifth of what?

[Henry J]

Exactly.

[Henry J]

Question / Answer Jokes

There was a race between some lettuce, a tomato and a faucet.
How did it turn out? Well the lettuce won by a head, the faucet was running, and the tomato tried to ketchup.

----------------------------------------

Fast Flight

A British Airways employee answers the telephone and hears a female voice asking: "How long is the Concorde flight from London to New York?"

As he turns to look the information up, he says, "Just a minute."

He hears the voice on the phone say, "Thank you," and she hangs up.

----------------------------------------

[Henry J]

Marriage Jokes

You Don't Need to Be a Weatherman...
It was two o'clock in the morning and a husband and wife were asleep, when suddenly the phone rang.
The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? ... How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?" -- and promptly slammed the phone down.
His wife rolls over and asks, "Who was that?"
The husband replies, I don't know. Some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear.

(So is the coast clear? It shore is, weather or not!)

-----------------------------------------

[lswot]

Uh.....what happened to "if a man answers hang up"?

[Xjmt]

Uh.....what happened to "if a man answers hang up"?

[Henry J]

What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare line.

(Wascally wabbit!)

(If wabbits weren't wascally, there wouldn't be so many of them!)

-----------------------------------------

To be is to do!
To do is to be!
Do be do be do!
Yabba dabba do!
Scooby Doo where are you?

----------------------------------------

[lswot]

Are the men in white coats here, yet?

[Henry J]

Too hot out there for coats, no matter what color.

[Henry J]

Patient to Doc: "I know what I mean when I say 'oops'. What do you mean when you say 'oops'?"

-----------------------------------------

Doc after closing patient after surgery: "Hey, where's my watch?"
Patient: Tick. Tick. Tick.

-----------------------------------------