Recycling

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If it doesn't fit in any of the other forums, it goes here. Knock yerself out.

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lswot
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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Fri Mar 02, 2018 10:18 am

Henry J wrote:Never iron a 4 leaf clover, you don't want to press your luck...

*****
... :coffee:
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

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Xjmt
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Re: Recycling

Post by Xjmt » Fri Mar 02, 2018 1:24 pm

lswot wrote:
Henry J wrote:Never iron a 4 leaf clover, you don't want to press your luck...

*****
... :coffee:
:coffee:

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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Fri Mar 02, 2018 7:15 pm

Glad you liked it! :smile:

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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Fri Mar 02, 2018 7:16 pm

*****

(Serious groaner. Esp. if you don't like chicken jokes. )

Brewster the Rooster

My Uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.

My uncle kept records, and any rooster or pullet that didn't perform well went into the stew pot and was replaced.
Now this took an awful lot of time. So my uncle got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now he could sit and fill out an efficiency report by listening to the sound of the bells.

My uncle's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was but his bell had not rung all morning. Uncle John went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing.

Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up to a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Uncle John was so proud, he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges awarded Brewster two prizes,

1) The No Bell Prize

and

2) The Pullet Surprise.

*****

(What, no Oscar, Emmy, or Tony? )

(Remember, a chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Probably trying to get away from Brewster. Or from Col. Reba, whichever. )

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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Sat Mar 03, 2018 10:05 am

Henry J wrote:Glad you liked it! :smile:
Dreamer :smile:
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

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lswot
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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Sat Mar 03, 2018 10:08 am

Henry J wrote:*****

(Serious groaner. Esp. if you don't like chicken jokes. )

Brewster the Rooster

My Uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.

My uncle kept records, and any rooster or pullet that didn't perform well went into the stew pot and was replaced.
Now this took an awful lot of time. So my uncle got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now he could sit and fill out an efficiency report by listening to the sound of the bells.

My uncle's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was but his bell had not rung all morning. Uncle John went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing.

Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up to a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Uncle John was so proud, he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges awarded Brewster two prizes,

1) The No Bell Prize

and

2) The Pullet Surprise.

*****

(What, no Oscar, Emmy, or Tony? )

(Remember, a chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Probably trying to get away from Brewster. Or from Col. Reba, whichever. )
... :coffee: :coffee:
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Sat Mar 03, 2018 3:06 pm

What happened when a criminal fell in the ocean?

There was a crime wave.

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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Sun Mar 04, 2018 3:29 pm

What did the egg in the monastery say?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Out of the frying-pan, into the friar."

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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Mon Mar 05, 2018 7:12 pm

Counselor:

Now this is a dogwood tree

.

Camper:

How can you tell?
.

.

Counselor:

By its bark.

.

(Woof!)

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lswot
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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Tue Mar 06, 2018 9:28 am

Henry J wrote:Counselor:

Now this is a dogwood tree

.

Camper:

How can you tell?
.

.

Counselor:

By its bark.

.

(Woof!)
Ok....that was pretty good. :)
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

Henry J
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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Tue Mar 06, 2018 5:11 pm

What

do you get

when you cross

an elephant

with a kangaroo?

.

.

.

.

Earthquakes in Australia.

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Re: Recycling

Post by Xjmt » Wed Mar 07, 2018 12:23 pm

OK, that's cute! :clap:

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lswot
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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Wed Mar 07, 2018 6:06 pm

Xjmt wrote:OK, that's cute! :clap:
Not bad..... :)
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

Henry J
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Location:Colorado

Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Wed Mar 07, 2018 7:38 pm

So,

.

what

.

has 4 wheels

.

and flies?

.
.
.

A garbage truck.

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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Thu Mar 08, 2018 4:11 pm

Why

.

did the kid

.

study

.

in the airplane?
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Because he wanted a higher education!

*********************

(Or did he simply want to study plane geometry? )

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