Recycling

[lswot]

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[Henry J]

Marriage Jokes

The frugal man walked into the house panting and almost completely exhausted.

"What happened, Honey?" asked his wife.

"It's a great new idea I have," he gasped. "I ran all the way home behind the bus and saved 50 cents."

"That wasn't to smart," replied his wife. "Why didn't you run behind a taxi and save five dollars?"

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[lswot]

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[Henry J]

One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour.

The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle.

Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.

Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"

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[lswot]

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[Henry J]

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.

Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.

After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

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[lswot]

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[Henry J]

Before going to Europe on business, a man drives his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and asks for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requests collateral. "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce," the man says. The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping and gives the man the $5,000. Two weeks later, the man walks through the bank's doors and asks to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest," the loan officer says. The man writes out a check and starts to walk away. "Wait, sir," the loan officer says. "You are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?" The man smiles, "Where else could I find a safer place to park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"

[Henry J]

: Entertainment Jokes

Carl asked, "Got anything to cure fleas on a dog?"

"That depends," the slow-minded vet replied.

"What's wrong with them?"

( Maybe there was no such thing as a flea lunch? )

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: Sport Jokes

Q: What's the hardest part about skydiving.

A: The ground.

( Well chute! )

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[lswot]

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[Henry J]

Three Indian squaws were talking around the fire one evening about the thing that made their brave husbands so proud, the number of sons they had.

Squaw number one says "I sat on deer hide and gave my man 2 beautiful sons".

Squaw number two says "I sat on a buffalo hide and gave my husband 3 strong boys".

The third squaw beamed when she said "I sat on a Hippopotamus hide and we now have 5 little sons".

So, what does this all prove? Scroll down....

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Are you ready for this?

Well........................

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It proves that the squaw of the Hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other 2 hides.

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[lswot]

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[Xjmt]

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[Henry J]

It's all in the math!

[Henry J]

I Pulled into the crowded parking lot at the shopping center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my puppy had fresh air. She was stretched full out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!"

The driver of a nearby car gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in park?"

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A reporter asked Bush today what he thought of Roe v Wade. He responded that he didn't care how people get out of New Orleans!

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