Recycling

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Tue Apr 25, 2017 4:41 pm

Musician Jokes

The doorbell rang, and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front door. "Lady," he announced, "I'm the piano tuner." The lady exclaimed, "Why, I didn't send for a piano tuner."

The man replied, "I know, but your neighbors did."

(Hmm - do ya suppose somebody's trying to tell her something?)

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Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Wed Apr 26, 2017 6:59 pm

Elderly Jokes

"I see you're losing your hair."

"Nonsense. I know exactly where it is - down the bathroom sink."

(The hare hopped away? )
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Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Thu Apr 27, 2017 7:27 pm

Miscellaneous Jokes

The best part about owning a restaurant for cats is the your customers don't complain when they get hair in their food.
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A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
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Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Fri Apr 28, 2017 7:15 pm

Police Jokes

After gunning his BMW the wrong way down a one-way street, the rather intoxicated young man was asked where he thought he was going by a curious police officer.

"I'm not really sure," confessed the drunk, "but wherever it is, I must be late, because everybody seems to be coming back already."
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lswot · Post by **lswot** » Sat Apr 29, 2017 8:30 am

..

Where is everybody?

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sat Apr 29, 2017 12:30 pm

Uh - they came back already?

Xjmt · Post by **Xjmt** » Sat Apr 29, 2017 2:46 pm

lswot wrote:..

Where is everybody?

Probably watching Netflix and Hulu!

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sat Apr 29, 2017 3:25 pm

Officer (to couple in parked auto)--"Don't you see that sign, 'Fine for parking'?"
Driver-"Yes, officer, I see it and heartily agree with it."
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Battered Motorist (waking up)- "Where am I? Where am I?"
Nurse- "This is number 127."
Motorist - "Room or cell."
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Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sun Apr 30, 2017 2:14 pm

Kid Jokes

On the first day of school, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."

A little voice from the back of the room asked.

"How will that help?"

(Good question!)
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Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Mon May 01, 2017 6:05 pm

From a recent Jeopardy!:

Q: The cartoon character Porky the Pig appeared with a cat named what?

A: What is "Beans".

Think about it...

(Are you ready for this?)

The two of them were "Porky and Beans".

(That's all, folks! At least until tomorrow, anyway!

)

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lswot · Post by **lswot** » Tue May 02, 2017 9:48 am

must have missed that one......thankfully.

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Tue May 02, 2017 3:07 pm

Actually that's a repeat of a post from a long time ago, so you might or might not have seen that Jeopardy episode back when.

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Tue May 02, 2017 5:08 pm

Soooo, you're gas lighting me?

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Tue May 02, 2017 6:16 pm

Well, yeah!

(Although I'm not entirely sure what that means.

)

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Tue May 02, 2017 6:18 pm

Doctors Jokes

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia.

The doctor gave him an exam and found nothing physically wrong with him. "Listen," the doctor said, "if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you need to stop taking your troubles to bed with you."

"It's true," said the patient, "but my wife refuses to sleep alone."

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