This is for General chit chat and such.
If it doesn't fit in any of the other forums, it goes here. Knock yerself out.
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lswot
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Re: Recycling
Post
by lswot » Fri Mar 02, 2018 10:18 am
Henry J wrote:Never iron a 4 leaf clover, you don't want to press your luck...
*****
...


lswot
eccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
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Xjmt
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Post
by Xjmt » Fri Mar 02, 2018 1:24 pm
lswot wrote:Henry J wrote:Never iron a 4 leaf clover, you don't want to press your luck...
*****
...


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Henry J - Tv Watcher

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Post
by Henry J » Fri Mar 02, 2018 7:15 pm
Glad you liked it!

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Henry J - Tv Watcher

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Post
by Henry J » Fri Mar 02, 2018 7:16 pm
*****
(Serious groaner. Esp. if you don't like chicken jokes. )
Brewster the Rooster
My Uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.
My uncle kept records, and any rooster or pullet that didn't perform well went into the stew pot and was replaced.
Now this took an awful lot of time. So my uncle got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now he could sit and fill out an efficiency report by listening to the sound of the bells.
My uncle's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was but his bell had not rung all morning. Uncle John went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing.
Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up to a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Uncle John was so proud, he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges awarded Brewster two prizes,
1) The No Bell Prize
and
2) The Pullet Surprise.
*****
(What, no Oscar, Emmy, or Tony? )
(Remember, a chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Probably trying to get away from Brewster. Or from Col. Reba, whichever. )
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lswot
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Post
by lswot » Sat Mar 03, 2018 10:05 am
Henry J wrote:Glad you liked it!

Dreamer


lswot
eccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
-
lswot
- Tv Watcher

- Posts:13710
- Joined:Sun Aug 31, 2003 11:53 am
- Location:California
Post
by lswot » Sat Mar 03, 2018 10:08 am
Henry J wrote:*****
(Serious groaner. Esp. if you don't like chicken jokes. )
Brewster the Rooster
My Uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.
My uncle kept records, and any rooster or pullet that didn't perform well went into the stew pot and was replaced.
Now this took an awful lot of time. So my uncle got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now he could sit and fill out an efficiency report by listening to the sound of the bells.
My uncle's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was but his bell had not rung all morning. Uncle John went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing.
Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up to a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Uncle John was so proud, he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges awarded Brewster two prizes,
1) The No Bell Prize
and
2) The Pullet Surprise.
*****
(What, no Oscar, Emmy, or Tony? )
(Remember, a chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Probably trying to get away from Brewster. Or from Col. Reba, whichever. )
...


lswot
eccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
-
Henry J - Tv Watcher

- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Post
by Henry J » Sat Mar 03, 2018 3:06 pm
What happened when a criminal fell in the ocean?
There was a crime wave.
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Henry J - Tv Watcher

- Posts:17968
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- Location:Colorado
Post
by Henry J » Sun Mar 04, 2018 3:29 pm
What did the egg in the monastery say?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Out of the frying-pan, into the friar."
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Henry J - Tv Watcher

- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
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Post
by Henry J » Mon Mar 05, 2018 7:12 pm
Counselor:
Now this is a dogwood tree
.
Camper:
How can you tell?
.
.
Counselor:
By its bark.
.
(Woof!)
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lswot
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Post
by lswot » Tue Mar 06, 2018 9:28 am
Henry J wrote:Counselor:
Now this is a dogwood tree
.
Camper:
How can you tell?
.
.
Counselor:
By its bark.
.
(Woof!)
Ok....that was pretty good.


lswot
eccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
-
Henry J - Tv Watcher

- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Post
by Henry J » Tue Mar 06, 2018 5:11 pm
What
do you get
when you cross
an elephant
with a kangaroo?
.
.
.
.
Earthquakes in Australia.
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Xjmt
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Post
by Xjmt » Wed Mar 07, 2018 12:23 pm
OK, that's cute!

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lswot
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Post
by lswot » Wed Mar 07, 2018 6:06 pm
Xjmt wrote:OK, that's cute!

Not bad.....


lswot
eccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
-
Henry J - Tv Watcher

- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Post
by Henry J » Wed Mar 07, 2018 7:38 pm
So,
.
what
.
has 4 wheels
.
and flies?
.
.
.
A garbage truck.
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Henry J - Tv Watcher

- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Post
by Henry J » Thu Mar 08, 2018 4:11 pm
Why
.
did the kid
.
study
.
in the airplane?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because he wanted a higher education!
*********************
(Or did he simply want to study plane geometry? )