...Henry J wrote:Never iron a 4 leaf clover, you don't want to press your luck...
*****
Recycling
- lswot
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lswot
eccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
eccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
- Xjmt
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Re: Recycling
lswot wrote:...Henry J wrote:Never iron a 4 leaf clover, you don't want to press your luck...
*****
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Re: Recycling
Glad you liked it!
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Re: Recycling
*****
(Serious groaner. Esp. if you don't like chicken jokes. )
Brewster the Rooster
My Uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.
My uncle kept records, and any rooster or pullet that didn't perform well went into the stew pot and was replaced.
Now this took an awful lot of time. So my uncle got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now he could sit and fill out an efficiency report by listening to the sound of the bells.
My uncle's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was but his bell had not rung all morning. Uncle John went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing.
Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up to a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Uncle John was so proud, he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges awarded Brewster two prizes,
1) The No Bell Prize
and
2) The Pullet Surprise.
*****
(What, no Oscar, Emmy, or Tony? )
(Remember, a chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Probably trying to get away from Brewster. Or from Col. Reba, whichever. )
(Serious groaner. Esp. if you don't like chicken jokes. )
Brewster the Rooster
My Uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.
My uncle kept records, and any rooster or pullet that didn't perform well went into the stew pot and was replaced.
Now this took an awful lot of time. So my uncle got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now he could sit and fill out an efficiency report by listening to the sound of the bells.
My uncle's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was but his bell had not rung all morning. Uncle John went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing.
Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up to a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Uncle John was so proud, he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges awarded Brewster two prizes,
1) The No Bell Prize
and
2) The Pullet Surprise.
*****
(What, no Oscar, Emmy, or Tony? )
(Remember, a chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Probably trying to get away from Brewster. Or from Col. Reba, whichever. )
- lswot
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Re: Recycling
DreamerHenry J wrote:Glad you liked it!
lswot
eccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
eccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
- lswot
- Tv Watcher
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- Joined:Sun Aug 31, 2003 11:53 am
- Location:California
Re: Recycling
...Henry J wrote:*****
(Serious groaner. Esp. if you don't like chicken jokes. )
Brewster the Rooster
My Uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.
My uncle kept records, and any rooster or pullet that didn't perform well went into the stew pot and was replaced.
Now this took an awful lot of time. So my uncle got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now he could sit and fill out an efficiency report by listening to the sound of the bells.
My uncle's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was but his bell had not rung all morning. Uncle John went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing.
Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up to a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Uncle John was so proud, he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges awarded Brewster two prizes,
1) The No Bell Prize
and
2) The Pullet Surprise.
*****
(What, no Oscar, Emmy, or Tony? )
(Remember, a chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Probably trying to get away from Brewster. Or from Col. Reba, whichever. )
lswot
eccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
eccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
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Re: Recycling
What happened when a criminal fell in the ocean?
There was a crime wave.
There was a crime wave.
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Re: Recycling
What did the egg in the monastery say?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Out of the frying-pan, into the friar."
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Out of the frying-pan, into the friar."
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Re: Recycling
Counselor:
Now this is a dogwood tree
.
Camper:
How can you tell?
.
.
Counselor:
By its bark.
.
(Woof!)
Now this is a dogwood tree
.
Camper:
How can you tell?
.
.
Counselor:
By its bark.
.
(Woof!)
- lswot
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Re: Recycling
Ok....that was pretty good.Henry J wrote:Counselor:
Now this is a dogwood tree
.
Camper:
How can you tell?
.
.
Counselor:
By its bark.
.
(Woof!)
lswot
eccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
eccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
-
- Tv Watcher
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- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Re: Recycling
What
do you get
when you cross
an elephant
with a kangaroo?
.
.
.
.
Earthquakes in Australia.
do you get
when you cross
an elephant
with a kangaroo?
.
.
.
.
Earthquakes in Australia.
- Xjmt
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Re: Recycling
OK, that's cute!
- lswot
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Re: Recycling
Not bad.....Xjmt wrote:OK, that's cute!
lswot
eccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
eccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
-
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Re: Recycling
So,
.
what
.
has 4 wheels
.
and flies?
.
.
.
A garbage truck.
.
what
.
has 4 wheels
.
and flies?
.
.
.
A garbage truck.
-
- Tv Watcher
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Re: Recycling
Why
.
did the kid
.
study
.
in the airplane?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because he wanted a higher education!
*********************
(Or did he simply want to study plane geometry? )
.
did the kid
.
study
.
in the airplane?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because he wanted a higher education!
*********************
(Or did he simply want to study plane geometry? )