Recycling

[Henry J]

Come to think of it, the Shadow probably dind't know anything about Gemini.

[Henry J]

A problem cannot be solved using the same level of thinking that created it. [In other words, if you screw it up, you can't fix it.]

A real person has two reasons for doing anything... a good reason and the real reason. [Let us rationalize that... ]

A short cut is the longest distance between two points. [In other words, the scenic route.]

A short line outside a building becomes a long line inside. [It's dimensionally transcendental? Like the TARDIS? ]

A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first. [Shocking! ]

A well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous. [That's crazy! ]

Ability is a good thing but stability is even better. [Especially if you have horses in that stable.]

Ability is like a check, it has no value unless it is cashed. [And then only if your account had enough talents to cover it.]

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[Henry J]

Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it is out of date) - Stafford Beer. [Does that mean all employed people are out of date?]

According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist. [It's the new math - 2+2=5 for really large values of 2.]

According to the official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless. [Would you believe 86 percent? How about...]

Adding manpower to a late software product makes it later. [I could have told you that! To make it earlier, you'd have to get smarter.]

After all is said and done, usually more is said than done. [Well said! Especially if you have to answer your shoe, Max. ]

After any unit has been completely assembled, extra components will be found on the bench. [Hey Chief, what's this for?]

Afternoon: that part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning. [And loving it!]

Aiming for the least common denominator sometimes causes division by zero. [Oops! Sorry about that, Chief.]

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[Henry J]

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it's two tired.

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Help eliminate and eradicate unnecessary redundant obfuscation!!

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

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[lswot]

It seems you have a million of these........all from memory, I'm sure.

[Henry J]

I forget...

[lswot]

clever

[Henry J]

Media

Things learned from TV:

All crimes are solved in 1 hour. [Except when it's a 2 hour movie]

The Good guy always wins. [But if he/she is really good, why does it take the whole hour?]

When you're trapped, you always find a way out. [Just get tips from the script writer.]

A trip from Los Angeles to China takes 5 seconds. [Less if you have a TARDIS]

All women still have makeup on when they wake up in the morning. [Or even when coming out of the ER...]

When you're a hero, you will never get burnt in a fire. [Also, bad guys with sub-machine guns are [usually] really bad shots.]

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[Henry J]

: Bar & Drinking Jokes

Three leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink.

The president of Budweiser orders a Bud.

Miller's president orders a Millers and the president of Coors orders a Coors.

When it is Guinness turn to order he orders a soda.

Why didn't you order a Guinness everyone asks?

Nah Guinness replies. If you guys aren't having a beer neither will I.

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[lswot]

[Henry J]

Science lesson for today:

Physics.

Physics is very particulate, except when it's wavy.

Which one it is can be uncertain, but that's relative.

Particles never pay cash, except for the ones with no charge.

Too many electrons can be shocking, in which case resistance was futile.

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[Henry J]

Science lesson for today:

Chemistry.

At first this subject is elementary. (118 of them)

But then the problems start to compound.

With practice one can bond with the subject matter.

When an atom gains an electron, this can cause static.

Some atoms are inert, but others are ert.

Some atoms have magnetic personalities.

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[lswot]

I have a headache....

[Henry J]

Take two acetylsalicylic acid (ASA), and see this thread again tomorrow...

[Henry J]

Science lesson for today:

Biology.

It's the science of things that ingest, metabolize, excrete, and reproduce.

Stuff changes. It matters. Sometimes.

Bacteria don't care who they exchange genes with, and they don't care if the genes make them look fat.

Mushrooms would be fun guys, except that they never seem to go anywhere.

Plants? Animals? Fungi? They might be kingdoms, but they're outnumbered and out-massed by bacteria, which are in their own domain.

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