Recycling

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 9:42 am

har har.......

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 10:25 am

Speak up, ah can't har you!

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 11:58 am

I repeat......har har

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 1:11 pm

thar thar!

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 6:18 pm

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 7:30 pm

The harpist got the lucrative booking BY PULLING STRINGS.

For its new animals, the zoo had to pay A BEASTLY SUM.

To increase business, the dry cleaners introduced A NEW WRINKLE.

*****

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Thu Aug 01, 2013 6:08 pm

"I won't let a flat tire get me down," Tom said, without despair.

*****

CASTANET: What they did to fill the role of Frankie Avalon's movie girl friend.

*****

When the spiders put on a production of "Pirates of Penzance," the arachnid audience went wild as they started to sing,"When the foeman bares his steel, tarantula, tarantula."

*****

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Fri Aug 02, 2013 8:48 pm

Computer Meanings:

SERIAL PORT:
(1) Breakfast wine
(2) Where boats load grain

Nibble: half a byte.

Byte: a bit to eat while looking out the Window.

Bit: a number for people who can't count very high.

Hard drive: a long road trip.

Antivirus: chicken soup.

Henry

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sat Aug 03, 2013 1:03 pm

Medical Definition:

COPULATION: The number of policemen in the area.

DIAGNOSTIC: A couple who didn't know if there is a God.

DIAGNOSTIC: Someone who didn't believe in the Roman hunting goddess.

NINTENDINITIS: Digital joint pain caused by playing too many video games.

********

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Sun Aug 04, 2013 11:08 am

...

you make these up?
Funny!

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sun Aug 04, 2013 2:48 pm

Well, nope!

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sun Aug 04, 2013 2:51 pm

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, the minister asked for a show of hands from those who read Mark 17. Every hand went up.

The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

********

Henry

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Mon Aug 05, 2013 9:54 am

Henry J wrote:A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, the minister asked for a show of hands from those who read Mark 17. Every hand went up.

The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

********

Henry

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Mon Aug 05, 2013 6:59 pm

THINGS WE ALL SHOULD KNOW...(and most of us don't!) (1/3)

Never give yourself a haircut after three martinis. (Hair today, gone tomorrow?)

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying, "Thank you," although it helps if you say it with a SOUTHERN accent.

No books will be as good as the ones you loved as a child.

Some people are working backstage, some are playing in the orchestra, some are on stage singing, some are in the audience as critics, and some are there to applaud. Know who and where you are.

When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.

Never continue dating anyone whom is rude to the waiter.

A person needs only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

*****

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Tue Aug 06, 2013 9:41 am

words to live by.....

The Show Place

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