Recycling

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Sat Nov 30, 2013 2:46 pm

rut ro

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sun Dec 01, 2013 12:07 pm

After reviewing the video tape of the a football game wherein his place kicker missed a real easy short kick with just seconds to go, which would have given them the winning margin an sent them to a bowl game, the coach told his kicker that after he graduated he should join the priesthood, as he was sure they would make him a cardinal immediately. Why, asked the kicker? Well, answered the coach, other than the pope, you're the only other one who has ever made 70,000 people rise to their feet and yell,.....Jesus Christ!

*****

Xjmt · Post by **Xjmt** » Mon Dec 02, 2013 4:04 pm

Prayer for Leroy
In a Detroit church one Sunday morning, a preacher said,
"Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."

With that, Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?"

Leroy replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."
The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy's ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. He prayed a "blue streak"
For Leroy, and the whole congregation joined in with great Enthusiasm.
After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood
Back and asked, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy answered, "I don't know. It ain't 'til Thursday."

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Mon Dec 02, 2013 7:18 pm

Order in the court!

Here come de judge!

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Mon Dec 02, 2013 7:20 pm

1. How Do You Catch A Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch A Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path.

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit A Concrete Wall?
Dam!

*****

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Tue Dec 03, 2013 1:45 pm

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Tue Dec 03, 2013 6:47 pm

Don't hurt yer eyes doing that!

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Tue Dec 03, 2013 6:48 pm

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids.

7. What Do You Call A Boomerang That Doesn't Work?
A Stick.

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Sinko.

*****

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 12:57 pm

What was Noah's wife's name?
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
, Joan of Ark

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Wed Dec 04, 2013 7:52 pm

11. What Do You Get From A Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross A Snowman With A Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find A Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

*****

Henry

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 12:37 pm

oh, dear.......

Xjmt · Post by **Xjmt** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 1:03 pm

lswot wrote:oh, dear.......

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Thu Dec 05, 2013 8:04 pm

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Is The Difference Between A Harley And A Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

19. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

20. How Are A Texas Tornado And A Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.

*****

Henry

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Fri Dec 06, 2013 11:37 am

You've got an old joke book......don't you?

Xjmt · Post by **Xjmt** » Fri Dec 06, 2013 4:26 pm

lswot wrote:You've got an old joke book......don't you?

More like ancient!

The Show Place

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