Recycling

[Henry J]

Two bytes are in a bar.

One byte says "I'm not feeling very well. I may have a parity error"

The other byte says "I thought you looked a bit off!"

(I don't write them I just cut and paste!!)

A byte joke huh?

There's 10 kinds of people in the world - those who know binary and those who don't.

One computer to another: Let's go out for a byte. Or at least a nibble.

Then there was the atom that was positive that it had lost an electron.

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[Xjmt]

[lswot]

OH! NO! PODS washed up on the beach in Huntington Beach!!!!!!!!

Guess where my mind went first!!!???

[Xjmt]

OH! NO! PODS washed up on the beach in Huntington Beach!!!!!!!!

Guess where my mind went first!!!???

[lswot]

OH! NO! PODS washed up on the beach in Huntington Beach!!!!!!!!

Guess where my mind went first!!!???

And it's all true...I swear by my tattoo.
Honestly this is true......'they' say they are likely "pelagic tunicates" other-wise know as salps. If I lived in Huntington Beach I'd probably have trouble sleeping...

[lswot]

Article in the paper:

Alien eggs from another planet?

Strange-looking jelly pods washed up in areas of Huntington Beach on Monday and Tuesday, making beachgoers stop and wonder what exactly they are.

“I’ve never seen anything like that before; it looks odd,” said Huntington Marine Safety Lt. Claude Panis, who has worked for the lifeguard department for 38 years.

Some people were speculating they were sea salps, gelatinous creatures that look like jellyfish but are actually animals with nerve cords related to vertebrates, animals with backbones.

Others in a Huntington Beach community forum on social media had different theories:

“Baby tremor monsters?” one person speculated.

“Burrowing sea cucumbers!” guessed another.

“Coyote eggs,” someone quipped.

“They are alien eggs. They are going to hatch and take over the world,” Panis joked.

Matt Bracken, associate professor in UC Irvine’s Department of Ecology and Evolutionary Biology, went along with some of the speculators saying they are likely “pelagic tunicates,” otherwise known as salps.

“These marine invertebrates look sort of like jellyfish, but they are actually more closely related to vertebrates (e.g., humans) than to other invertebrates,” he wrote in an e-mail response after examining images. “They occasionally bloom off the California coast.”

The creatures, some slithering along and burrowing into the sand, were spotted in areas of Huntington City and Huntington State Beach. Nearby Newport Beach had no reports of the creatures, lifeguards said.

Panis said the jellies might be a lingering affect of the dwindling El Niño. Similarly, there has been an influx of stingrays uncommonly close to shore for this time of year that is stumping lifeguards.

“There’s all kinds of weird things happening,” he said. “It’s just strange.”

[Xjmt]

And here I thought you were talking about "Invasion of the Body Snatchers".

[Henry J]

There's an Eyewitness

LATE ONE NIGHT, a man driving along a dark country road heard a big thud and knew he'd hit something. He stopped and got out to look but didn't see anything.

The next morning, the sheriff came to his home. "You're under arrest," the officer said. "You hit a pig with your car last night."

"Now how in the world do you know that?" the man asked. The sheriff replied without hesitation, "The pig squealed."

(And, one might say that the sheriff brought home the bacon. )

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[lswot]

And here I thought you were talking about "Invasion of the Body Snatchers".

I was!!!!
Now they are reporting that Killer Whales are off shore.
We live in interesting times........

[Henry J]

Killer whales? Probably just a fluke.

[Henry J]

YA GOTTA LOVE DRUNK PEOPLE
>
> A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door.
>
> The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
>
> Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!
>
> He slams the door and returns to bed.
>
> Who was that?" asked his wife.
>
> Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
>
> Did you help him?" she asks.
>
> No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!"
>
> Well, you have a short memory," says his wife.
>
> Can't you remember, about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
>
> I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
>
> The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
>
> He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
>
> "Yes" comes back the answer.
>
> "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
>
> "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
>
> "Where are you?" asks the husband.
>
> "Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.

(Yep, that guy's a real swinger!)

[lswot]

Killer whales? Probably just a fluke.

Very good....and even funny

[Henry J]

This one is for all of you who:

a) have kids
b) had kids
c) was a kid
d) know a kid!

As I was packing for my business trip, my 3-year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed.

At one point, she said.... "Daddy look at this," and she stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again. When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, "What's wrong, honey?" She replied, "What happened to my booger?"

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[Henry J]

The preacher's Sunday sermon was, "Forgive Your Enemies". Toward the end of the service, He asked his congregation, "how many of you have forgiven their enemies"? About half held up their hands.

He then repeated his question. As it was past lunchtime, this time about 80 percent held up their hands. He then repeated his question again. All responded, except one small elderly lady.

"Rosebud" inquired the preacher, Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?

"I don't have any", she replied smiling sweetly.

"Rosebud, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-three", she replied.

"Oh Rosebud, what a blessing and a lesson to us all you are. Would you please come down in front of this congregation and tell us all how a person can live ninety-three years and not have an enemy in the world."

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:

"I outlived the S-O-B's."

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[lswot]

But of course!