Recycling
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lswot
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lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
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Henry J
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Re: Recycling
Kids are quick ...
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Jim, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did you copy his?
JIM: No, teacher, it's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are
no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
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(So, what's cooking?)
(Jim's dog can lick anybody!)
(Yawn!)
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Jim, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did you copy his?
JIM: No, teacher, it's the same dog.
----------------
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are
no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
----------------
(So, what's cooking?)
(Jim's dog can lick anybody!)
(Yawn!)
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lswot
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Re: Recycling
Hey where is everybody?
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
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Xjmt
- Tv Watcher
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- Location:Ohio
Re: Recycling
Shivering under blankets!lswot wrote:Hey where is everybody?
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lswot
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Re: Recycling
Ahhh. sorry. Stay warm.......
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
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Xjmt
- Tv Watcher
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- Location:Ohio
Re: Recycling
Is that an offer???lswot wrote:Ahhh. sorry. Stay warm.......
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lswot
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Re: Recycling
.. 
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
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Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Re: Recycling
Would you believe, computer issues? Or lack thereof? How about...
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Henry J
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- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
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Re: Recycling
Kids are quick ...
TEACHER: Gus, why do you always get so dirty?
GUS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is ...
TEACHER: No, Millie ... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right ... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
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(So maybe George and his dad should bury the hatchet?)
(At least Millie is a person of letters!)
(And Gus is getting a well grounded education.)
TEACHER: Gus, why do you always get so dirty?
GUS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
----------------
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is ...
TEACHER: No, Millie ... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right ... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
----------------
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
----------------
(So maybe George and his dad should bury the hatchet?)
(At least Millie is a person of letters!)
(And Gus is getting a well grounded education.)
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lswot
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Re: Recycling
Ax me no questions I'll tell you no lies
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
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Xjmt
- Tv Watcher
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- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 6:13 am
- Location:Ohio
Re: Recycling
lswot wrote:Ax me no questions I'll tell you no lies
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Henry J
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Re: Recycling
Lawyer Joke
Consultation fees
A lawyer's dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely."
"Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today."
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. The butcher, having a feeling of satisfaction, leaves.
Three days later, the butcher finds a bill from the lawyer: $100 due for a consultation.
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Consultation fees
A lawyer's dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely."
"Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today."
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. The butcher, having a feeling of satisfaction, leaves.
Three days later, the butcher finds a bill from the lawyer: $100 due for a consultation.
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Henry J
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Re: Recycling
Entertainment Jokes
Mr. Johnson was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
He said; "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least five pounds."
When Mr. Johnson returned, he shocked the doctor by having dropped almost twenty pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor told him. "You did this just by following my instructions?"
The slimmed down Mr. Johnson nodded. "I'll tell you, though, I though I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean."
"No," replied Mr. Johnson, "from skipping."
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Mr. Johnson was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
He said; "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least five pounds."
When Mr. Johnson returned, he shocked the doctor by having dropped almost twenty pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor told him. "You did this just by following my instructions?"
The slimmed down Mr. Johnson nodded. "I'll tell you, though, I though I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean."
"No," replied Mr. Johnson, "from skipping."
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Henry J
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Re: Recycling
Airplane Jokes
Pilot: Control tower, what time is it?
Control tower: What airline is this?
Pilot: What difference does that make?
Control tower: Well if it is UA, it is 6:00p.m.; if it is TWA, it is 1800 hours; if it is Ozark, the big hand is on the ..."
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Pilot: Control tower, what time is it?
Control tower: What airline is this?
Pilot: What difference does that make?
Control tower: Well if it is UA, it is 6:00p.m.; if it is TWA, it is 1800 hours; if it is Ozark, the big hand is on the ..."
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